Save Up Money For...

i want to get a nice nikon.
need to pay back my parents for this euro trip.
get money for Cali road trip.
shop for all new clothes.
save up for huge euro trip when i graduate.
buy bunch of video games.
buy video camera.


How to Get Money:
Work at Ripley's.
Work at pet store.
Sell body.
Sell weed.
Be cocktail waitress at strip club.

big poppa

Although I've been staying at home this entire week. It's been kind of nice. I'm not used to staying in and just relaxing at home. I mean I still have people coming over and smoking with me but i haven't gone out and actually done something with people. I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 7 days which is amazing for me. I haven't gone more than 2 days without a drink in a long time. I can't even remember the times when I didn't drink. Oh well. I discovered the greatest website ever. It is called blip.fm. It is the best website to discover music on. I have discovered so many songs already and I've only been using for less than a week. It's wonderful.

here's a song that I have fallen in love with:
I've heard of cobra starship and i'm not that big of a fan but this song is amazing.

Broadening My Life

I've decided that i'm going to do something new everyday. It seems like a good way to keep things interesting and possibly help me get into shape and possibly discover many bands that I will forever be in love with. Today I listened to streetlight manifesto. I had hear d a few songs from them and i really liked them but I never searched more into them. Now I did and I am happy.

I

met the man of my dreams. too bad it's my brother's friend and it's never going to happen. oh well it's fun to have crushes sometimes. plus i have my maxxy and i do love him.

i have finally understood that it is very difficult to trust anyone. i used to be so trusting but now i've realized that it is very stupid to be that way. there are really only two people that i can completely trust. and that is dangie and crystal. i thought there were more but in this world you have to protect yourself. it is rather depresssing when you really think about it. people just lie and backstab each other and just use one another in life. people you consider friends sometimes don't give a shit about you but they make you believe that they do. it's so hard for anyone to be optimistic these days when people turn this world so ugly. people make the world hard to live in because people just care about themselves nowadays they don't give a shit about other people's feelings or other people's well-being. it makes me sad.

i've never said i love you to any guy and have meant it. i've only said it to one other guy but i was 15 and just thought you had to say it if you were dating someone. i have never felt this way. i actually love this boy. it scares the shit out of me. last night he said i love you so much, megan. that was the best thing i've ever heard in my life. i'm afraid that i'm going to say it too much and i'm going to frighten him away. this is the scariest feeling in the world. i am so happy but for some reason i feel like crying because i'm afraid that i'm going to fuck it up.

...although i love hanging out at his house when i'm visiting home i need to stop doing it. i'm honestly starting to realize that there really is two side to this story. i thought that he was completely telling the truth but with all the things that i keep hearing i feel that he is telling me that he has feelings for me but he actually just wants to play with my feelings. but then again people like to lie here in this town so i really don't know what to believe. his best friend tells me that he said he didn't mean anything he said but he tells me that he doesnt tell his best friend everything and that he meant every word. this is so complicated and not worth it anymore because i found someone that understands me and loves me and i have said i love him to him which means a lot coming from me.


i can't wait to see my baby. <3

Bag of Weed with lyrics

more to the list for summer

diet.
exercise.
walking.
riding my bike.
swimming.
wii fit!

look like this:

My Love

Plans for the Summer

Dangie and I getting drunk for an entire week nonstop to celebrate her turning 21 and me turning 19.
Doing absolutely nothing.
Being stoned all day everyday.
Getting piss ass drunk.
Going to Belgium.
Barhopping.
Meet up with Amy and Krysia in Poland.
Go to Amsterdam.
Stay in a hostel or two.
Drinking Belgian beer. (the greatest)
Taking statistics at MCC.
Going to the beach?
Sleeping until 4 in the afternoon.
Play video games.
Read books.
Laying out in my pool.
Moving into my house.
My second cousin is coming to visit me.
Party in my new house.
Wreak havoc through St.Augustine.
Wreak havoc through Sarasota.
Wreak havoc through Bradenton.
Wreak havoc through Europe.
Get baked.
Get high.
Get fucked up.
Get a job.
Relax.
Go to the movies.
Eat.
Poop.
Walk.
Guitar Hero.
Traveling.
Exploring.
Enjoy being on vacation.
Having a good time.
No worries for four months.
I love summer.

The Pursuit of Happiness

I have finally found it. I never thought the words would ever come out of my mouth but I said I love you to him. I've only said that to one other person and I didn't mean it. I said it to Maxx and I really mean it. I'm happy with where I am in life. School is about done, I just have exams on tuesday and wednesday. My grades are pretty decent. In June I will be able to move into my house. I'm so stoked for this. RIght now I can only think of positive things that I have to look forward to. I have a 4-month vacation, I have a boyfriend who understands me, I have pretty amazing friends, I have a house, and I'm starting to figure out what I want to do with my life. I know that I either want to do something with animals or possibly counsel teenagers. Who knows though, life might just take me in a complete other direction.

I can't wait to go home and see everyone. I feel like I am missing out on a lot back home and I don't want to be forgotten. I'm looking forward to hang out with everyone whenever I want to and not just during a short weekend.

the interior

My House

I will soon have pictures of the interior to show you.

smoke

weed

it's been decided

i'm going to get so drunk tonight that i will not remember one damn thing. good night and so long. don't be surprised to get a drunken phone call.

Life is Good

I've found my passion. Fighting against animal cruelty. Let's end the Chinese fur trade.

I've found a boyfriend. Maxx is amazing! It's funny how something great can start from a car accident.

Spring Break in exactly one week. Orlando here I come.

A Silly Girl's Rant

I don't understand why people enjoy saying things to bring other people down. I'm no longer listening to what other people have to say. I've realized that people will say stuff to hurt you just because they are miserable with themselves. It's really hard for me to get involved with guys in an emotional way because I always get fucked over, so first before I continue with what I'm talking about I'd appreciate it if you just are straight up with me and not say you like me if you don't really mean it. It's not good for me. It'll just make it even more difficult for me to finally be in a good healthy relationship. But going back to what I was originally talking about, there are some people that take pleasure in bringing people down. I'm finally happy with someone and you're going to take away my happiness and make me think that it happened again. That I don't deserve to be happy, I don't deserve someone to actually like me and want to be with me. Well you know what. He likes me so fuck you I get to be happy. I sound like a little girl ranting but fuck it. I'm done with shitty people. I'm staying away from people that are going to bring me down and try to make me sad.

On another note: thank you for the people that are there for me and that keep me going. you have no idea how much you mean to me. You pick me up when other people knock me down. I love all of you.

when it's all said and done

I finally stopped being a little pussy and I said what I needed to say. The response wasn't at all what I expected. He was actually very calm and cool about it and we're friends. I feel like a a big weight has been lifted. I feel like a bird soaring through the sky. It's a good feeling.

Dr. Lektroluv is Amazing!

no title

I didn't think it was possible to feel so many emotions at once. I'm sad,angry, afraid, tired, happy, and excited. My friends aren't coming to visit which makes me sad. I'm angry because it seems like somebody back at home is trying to take my place and this person has always made me feel like shit since the 7th grade. This shouldn't be a surprise to me. But I feel silly for being upset about it. I'm afraid that my friends will eventually forget about me and it'll be like I never existed. I'm tired because I had to wake up at 8:30. I'm happy because I love everybody here in St.Augustine. I'm glad I chose this city to live in. I'm excited because it's the weekend and everything will be fantastic tonight.

it could be like we never knew each other at all

I hate being mean. I hate hurting people's feelings. Because of this I end up doing things that end up hurting people even more. Why do I do this? Not only am I going to hurt them but in the end I'm just going to hurt myself. I need to stop being a pussy and just say exactly what is on my mind. This is something that should have been done months ago. Ugh it needs to happen sooner than later. I need to go with what I'm feeling not with what I should be feeling. Why is it so difficult?

Likes
smell of gasoline
pepsi
bonfires
drinking games
laughter
reading
singing in the car
writing random shit
giraffes
college
life
family
friends
eskimo kisses
sushi
partying
chilling
relaxing
smoking
pillow talk
sleeping
beer
rum & coke
jager
road trips
traveling
thinking
learning
dancing
family guy
memories
impressions
music

One Step Closer

Everything we do affects us in some way. I realize that it's true. It's insane to think about that. Even the clothes you choose to wear. Things as simple as that affects the way you act or the things you do. The words you say and the words you don't say. The way you put those words into a sentence. The way you say those words. The good things you do and the bad things you do. The friends you decide to spend your time with. The people you decide to make enemies with. The things you consume. The drugs you decide to try. The way you act towards people. Everything happens for a reason. I think if more people came to this realization they would live fuller lives. They would go out and enjoy their lives. If you go through life doing the same routine everyday nothing is going to change. You are going to continue living the same mundane life. You might want things to be different but that is not going to happen. You have to go out and do something different. Try new things, see new things, learn new things, meet new people. That's how I want to live my life. I have done some stupid things in my life but with some of those stupid things I have done some great things. I know there is still so much out there. Life is full of mystery and that's what is so great about it but that's what is so scary about it. The future can be really terrifying to think about. The decisions we make right now will affect our future. It's crazy and makes me understand why I am so terrible at making decisions. But I am deciding to end this blog now. That was a more simple decision, of course. Goodnight.

New Year's Resolutions 2009

new year'​s resol​ution​
-eat bette​r
-​exerc​ise
-be an overa​ll bette​r perso​n
-​under​stand​ mysel​f bette​r
-​start​ makin​g decis​ions inste​ad of quest​ionin​g mysel​f all the time
-listen to even more music