i've never said i love you to any guy and have meant it. i've only said it to one other guy but i was 15 and just thought you had to say it if you were dating someone. i have never felt this way. i actually love this boy. it scares the shit out of me. last night he said i love you so much, megan. that was the best thing i've ever heard in my life. i'm afraid that i'm going to say it too much and i'm going to frighten him away. this is the scariest feeling in the world. i am so happy but for some reason i feel like crying because i'm afraid that i'm going to fuck it up.

...although i love hanging out at his house when i'm visiting home i need to stop doing it. i'm honestly starting to realize that there really is two side to this story. i thought that he was completely telling the truth but with all the things that i keep hearing i feel that he is telling me that he has feelings for me but he actually just wants to play with my feelings. but then again people like to lie here in this town so i really don't know what to believe. his best friend tells me that he said he didn't mean anything he said but he tells me that he doesnt tell his best friend everything and that he meant every word. this is so complicated and not worth it anymore because i found someone that understands me and loves me and i have said i love him to him which means a lot coming from me.


i can't wait to see my baby. <3