Yet Again

Once again my shyness has ruined a possibility of a good relationship.  I do not understand why I have to become so timid around the boys that I actually see a future with.  I just need time to relax in front of them and show them who I really am.  I have so much to talk about, I have so many secrets I want to unleash, and I want to pour my soul out. All I need is some time and you will be pleasantly surprised.  But now it is too late and I am left here alone yet again.  My being shy may have been cute when I was a young child but now it has just become a complete nuisance and I can't take it anymore.  I just can't help it though and it really sucks.  I wish there was a way to change this situation or at least not feel so terrible.  I just wish that he knew that if he were to give me some time I could be the best girl to ever come into his life.  I won't treat him like shit. I'm not a crazy bitch. I'm an easygoing girl.  If he wanted it, I would give him the world.  But because of this ridiculous quality of mine I ruined my chance with this great guy.