Save Up Money For...

i want to get a nice nikon.
need to pay back my parents for this euro trip.
get money for Cali road trip.
shop for all new clothes.
save up for huge euro trip when i graduate.
buy bunch of video games.
buy video camera.


How to Get Money:
Work at Ripley's.
Work at pet store.
Sell body.
Sell weed.
Be cocktail waitress at strip club.

big poppa

Although I've been staying at home this entire week. It's been kind of nice. I'm not used to staying in and just relaxing at home. I mean I still have people coming over and smoking with me but i haven't gone out and actually done something with people. I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 7 days which is amazing for me. I haven't gone more than 2 days without a drink in a long time. I can't even remember the times when I didn't drink. Oh well. I discovered the greatest website ever. It is called blip.fm. It is the best website to discover music on. I have discovered so many songs already and I've only been using for less than a week. It's wonderful.

here's a song that I have fallen in love with:
I've heard of cobra starship and i'm not that big of a fan but this song is amazing.

Broadening My Life

I've decided that i'm going to do something new everyday. It seems like a good way to keep things interesting and possibly help me get into shape and possibly discover many bands that I will forever be in love with. Today I listened to streetlight manifesto. I had hear d a few songs from them and i really liked them but I never searched more into them. Now I did and I am happy.

I

met the man of my dreams. too bad it's my brother's friend and it's never going to happen. oh well it's fun to have crushes sometimes. plus i have my maxxy and i do love him.

i have finally understood that it is very difficult to trust anyone. i used to be so trusting but now i've realized that it is very stupid to be that way. there are really only two people that i can completely trust. and that is dangie and crystal. i thought there were more but in this world you have to protect yourself. it is rather depresssing when you really think about it. people just lie and backstab each other and just use one another in life. people you consider friends sometimes don't give a shit about you but they make you believe that they do. it's so hard for anyone to be optimistic these days when people turn this world so ugly. people make the world hard to live in because people just care about themselves nowadays they don't give a shit about other people's feelings or other people's well-being. it makes me sad.

i've never said i love you to any guy and have meant it. i've only said it to one other guy but i was 15 and just thought you had to say it if you were dating someone. i have never felt this way. i actually love this boy. it scares the shit out of me. last night he said i love you so much, megan. that was the best thing i've ever heard in my life. i'm afraid that i'm going to say it too much and i'm going to frighten him away. this is the scariest feeling in the world. i am so happy but for some reason i feel like crying because i'm afraid that i'm going to fuck it up.

...although i love hanging out at his house when i'm visiting home i need to stop doing it. i'm honestly starting to realize that there really is two side to this story. i thought that he was completely telling the truth but with all the things that i keep hearing i feel that he is telling me that he has feelings for me but he actually just wants to play with my feelings. but then again people like to lie here in this town so i really don't know what to believe. his best friend tells me that he said he didn't mean anything he said but he tells me that he doesnt tell his best friend everything and that he meant every word. this is so complicated and not worth it anymore because i found someone that understands me and loves me and i have said i love him to him which means a lot coming from me.


i can't wait to see my baby. <3

Bag of Weed with lyrics